I had my first appointment with an endocrinologist today to take a further look at my thyroid nodules.
Turns out, she is concerned about them and is recommending surgery. A full thyroidectomy.
First another biopsy and then a meeting with a surgeon.
I'm not sure how I feel about the whole thing right now. My main concern is what life is like after the surgery. Will it impede on the progress that I'm making? Some of the surgeries result in the patient having hypothyroidism, which can be helped with medication, but I wonder, I already have trouble losing weight, is this going to make it harder? How crucial is it that I get this done right away? Is this something I can put off for a while longer? Most likely the nodules are still benign. Is there a rush? Will getting this done help my journey?
I really don't know, so me and my good friend Google are going to be spending some evenings together trying to find these answers.
Ending up doing Shock today with CJ. It was a tough class, but I made it through. Definitely need to be getting some more sleep. Just one more episode of How I Met Your Mother (I know, I'm way behind the times and just started season 3) and then bed.
All the love,
Kristin
Monday, April 30, 2012
The Upswing
Since my last post (I know, it was a long time ago) a lot of things have happened. Yes, as usual, I've been very busy, thus no blog posts.
Things have taken a turn for the better.
I won our fitness contest at work! 13% of my body fat lost since January and 15 inches in my hips. That seems so bizarre to say, and to see, but it's what's happening and it's a great feeling.
Our big fundraiser for Cardboard Playhouse Theatre was fabulous! We raised a lot, more than we ever have at one of our fundraisers before.
Had a really great training with Wilton on Friday.
Opened an amazing production of You're a Good Man, Charlie Brown directed by one of our company members. It runs through next weekend. You should definitely check it out. www.theboxabq.com
Finished my taxes and already got my refunds.
It's been a time or progress and achievement. Things are good.
More personal training with Wilton in the morning. Time for bed.
All the love,
Kristin
Things have taken a turn for the better.
I won our fitness contest at work! 13% of my body fat lost since January and 15 inches in my hips. That seems so bizarre to say, and to see, but it's what's happening and it's a great feeling.
Our big fundraiser for Cardboard Playhouse Theatre was fabulous! We raised a lot, more than we ever have at one of our fundraisers before.
Had a really great training with Wilton on Friday.
Opened an amazing production of You're a Good Man, Charlie Brown directed by one of our company members. It runs through next weekend. You should definitely check it out. www.theboxabq.com
Finished my taxes and already got my refunds.
It's been a time or progress and achievement. Things are good.
More personal training with Wilton in the morning. Time for bed.
All the love,
Kristin
Wednesday, April 18, 2012
A Short Ode to Rachel
One of my favorite things about Tuesdays is that I get to work with Rachel after PAINE with Wilton. I'm usually exhausted after PAINE, feeling like there is no way I can do anything else I could possibly physically do, yet along comes Rachel explaining some complicated new thing that I will be doing. I'm always constantly amazed at the things I can do when I work with Rachel. I deadlifted 130 pounds. I flipped a gigantic tire and today I was able to take a kettleball and swing it behind my legs switching hands. All these things I never thought I'd do in a million years. And on top of showing me things that I never thought I'd be able to do, she always reminds me to breathe.
In other news I was able to get back into an 18/20 shirt. It was a little tight, but it fit again. Something that hasn't happened in a long while. I'm going to stick to my 22/24 for a little bit longer, but it's good to know that those smaller sizes are on their way.
I also had some headshots taken by the AMAZING Frank Frost. Having headshots taken is something I've wanted to do for a really long time and with a little push from my agent Carissa, we decided to move forward and get them done so she can start sending out my information for work.
Wilton has created the commercial workout. Workouts that you can do during a commercial break. Check it out and you can get trained by Wilton too. Warning: He's good.
I realized today that my journey is along the lines of the 15 week mark. It's amazing to think how much I've done and accomplished in this time. I'm so thankfull (yes with two Ls) to everyone who has stuck with me. I know that every day isn't sunny and I'm sure that some of you have thought, "When is she going to stop complaining?" but thank you for sticking by me through my downs and my ups. We still have many more weeks a head of us and we are still at the beginning of this journey, but it's been a pretty good trip so far.
All the love,
Kristin
In other news I was able to get back into an 18/20 shirt. It was a little tight, but it fit again. Something that hasn't happened in a long while. I'm going to stick to my 22/24 for a little bit longer, but it's good to know that those smaller sizes are on their way.
I also had some headshots taken by the AMAZING Frank Frost. Having headshots taken is something I've wanted to do for a really long time and with a little push from my agent Carissa, we decided to move forward and get them done so she can start sending out my information for work.
Wilton has created the commercial workout. Workouts that you can do during a commercial break. Check it out and you can get trained by Wilton too. Warning: He's good.
I realized today that my journey is along the lines of the 15 week mark. It's amazing to think how much I've done and accomplished in this time. I'm so thankfull (yes with two Ls) to everyone who has stuck with me. I know that every day isn't sunny and I'm sure that some of you have thought, "When is she going to stop complaining?" but thank you for sticking by me through my downs and my ups. We still have many more weeks a head of us and we are still at the beginning of this journey, but it's been a pretty good trip so far.
All the love,
Kristin
Wednesday, April 11, 2012
Hold It In Your Hands
So, I've made a triumphant return back to the gym this week. Had some good workouts and some good training sessions so far.
I told Wilton on Tuesday that I wanted to hold something that weighed 32 pounds in my hands. He looked at me confused... "Why?" "Because that's how much I've lost so far." "Oh!" It was nice to surprise him with that number. I held a 30 pound kettleball in my hands. It was heavy. I can't believe that I used to have that much more weight on my body. A reminder of what used to be and a celebration of what is.
Wake up calls from my job and my business partner. I know I my brain had been elsewhere. I think it's back from it's vacation and its ready to work.
I also think I've been capable of more in the last few days at the gym. Push-ups have been done. Semi-burpees have been done. Progress is being made.
Onward finally feels like it's happening. I know there will still be ups and downs, but I feel relieved to be over this down.
All the love,
Kristin
I told Wilton on Tuesday that I wanted to hold something that weighed 32 pounds in my hands. He looked at me confused... "Why?" "Because that's how much I've lost so far." "Oh!" It was nice to surprise him with that number. I held a 30 pound kettleball in my hands. It was heavy. I can't believe that I used to have that much more weight on my body. A reminder of what used to be and a celebration of what is.
Wake up calls from my job and my business partner. I know I my brain had been elsewhere. I think it's back from it's vacation and its ready to work.
I also think I've been capable of more in the last few days at the gym. Push-ups have been done. Semi-burpees have been done. Progress is being made.
Onward finally feels like it's happening. I know there will still be ups and downs, but I feel relieved to be over this down.
All the love,
Kristin
Saturday, April 7, 2012
Apologies
To my dear family and friends who read my blogs,
I'm so sorry for my sadness lately. It has never been my intent to make you worry about me, or my well being. This blog has a fine line. I want it to be truthful and authentic because just maybe there is someone else out there who is feeling the same way I am and struggling with moving forward in their life and just knowing that someone feels they way they do will inspire them to get moving. To pick up the phone and find a gym that suits their needs or to talk to a friend or eat a carrot. I'm hoping above all else that my journey will inspire them.
But the story can't be positive all the time. This journey that I have started is going to have many ups and downs and right now I know I'm in a valley. I can see that glimmer of hope up at the top though. I haven't given up and I know that I need to figure out my logistics and plan my time better. This blog is helping me figure all of that out.
Thank you so much to each of you that has reached out to me in this sadness. Please know that I appreciate and understand that I can reach out to you in my time of need. There are some very personal things that I am trying to figure out right now. Things that I can only talk with a few people about. My inner tribe.
I started writing a play. It's working title is called, "Thine." I'm hoping that through this I might be able to conquer some demons. I was able to do that with a play in college. Really helped me work through some stuff. If it ever is finished I don't know that you'll ever see it produced, but maybe. There's a girl with a bowling ball who likes to knock down trees. I'm hoping it will be playful and not all sad.
I will try more and more to post about the happy things happening in my life as well. I know those days aren't as interesting to read about (as I almost never get comments on the happy blogs) but I will be more mindful of letting you all know when things are going well.
I've been getting compliments daily from people that I know that I've been looking good. It's nice. Clothes are fitting better. I posted on twitter my mini victory of going to see The Hunger Games and not feeling squished at all in the theatre seat. I also sat in a booth at Saggio's the other day and didn't fell squished there either. Mini Victories! I will celebrate them. It's those things that were difficult before that are getting easier that are the true tests of this journey. Pretty amazing moments for me.
My knee is feeling way better so I'm planning to go to yoga on Sunday morning at 9:15 am. If you've ever wanted to take a Hot Yoga class you should join me on Sunday. Plus, eVolv won Best Yoga Studio in the Alibi's Best of Burque. That is pretty awesome considering they've been open for less than a year. Plus ALL of their classes are really awesome and all of the instructors/trainers have real dedication and sincerity in wanting to make the lives of their clients better. I know that the right gym found me. I miss being there.
All right, enough for tonight. I'm going to go to bed!!! Yay for being tired!
All the love,
Kristin
I'm so sorry for my sadness lately. It has never been my intent to make you worry about me, or my well being. This blog has a fine line. I want it to be truthful and authentic because just maybe there is someone else out there who is feeling the same way I am and struggling with moving forward in their life and just knowing that someone feels they way they do will inspire them to get moving. To pick up the phone and find a gym that suits their needs or to talk to a friend or eat a carrot. I'm hoping above all else that my journey will inspire them.
But the story can't be positive all the time. This journey that I have started is going to have many ups and downs and right now I know I'm in a valley. I can see that glimmer of hope up at the top though. I haven't given up and I know that I need to figure out my logistics and plan my time better. This blog is helping me figure all of that out.
Thank you so much to each of you that has reached out to me in this sadness. Please know that I appreciate and understand that I can reach out to you in my time of need. There are some very personal things that I am trying to figure out right now. Things that I can only talk with a few people about. My inner tribe.
I started writing a play. It's working title is called, "Thine." I'm hoping that through this I might be able to conquer some demons. I was able to do that with a play in college. Really helped me work through some stuff. If it ever is finished I don't know that you'll ever see it produced, but maybe. There's a girl with a bowling ball who likes to knock down trees. I'm hoping it will be playful and not all sad.
I will try more and more to post about the happy things happening in my life as well. I know those days aren't as interesting to read about (as I almost never get comments on the happy blogs) but I will be more mindful of letting you all know when things are going well.
I've been getting compliments daily from people that I know that I've been looking good. It's nice. Clothes are fitting better. I posted on twitter my mini victory of going to see The Hunger Games and not feeling squished at all in the theatre seat. I also sat in a booth at Saggio's the other day and didn't fell squished there either. Mini Victories! I will celebrate them. It's those things that were difficult before that are getting easier that are the true tests of this journey. Pretty amazing moments for me.
My knee is feeling way better so I'm planning to go to yoga on Sunday morning at 9:15 am. If you've ever wanted to take a Hot Yoga class you should join me on Sunday. Plus, eVolv won Best Yoga Studio in the Alibi's Best of Burque. That is pretty awesome considering they've been open for less than a year. Plus ALL of their classes are really awesome and all of the instructors/trainers have real dedication and sincerity in wanting to make the lives of their clients better. I know that the right gym found me. I miss being there.
All right, enough for tonight. I'm going to go to bed!!! Yay for being tired!
All the love,
Kristin
Thursday, April 5, 2012
Do you member?
Been feeling better both emotionally and physically. Helps that my theatre won BEST THEATRE SPACE in the Weekly Alibi's Best of Burque. Plus they said we were nice. That's a bonus.
Here's a video that makes me happy.
Here's a video that makes me happy.
Wednesday, April 4, 2012
Suckage
Monday was better than Sunday. Tuesday sucked... a lot. Ugh. Insomnia back in full swing right now.
On a good note I finally found how to add an event to my fan pages on facebook. You should come see some improv this weekend.
That is all.
All the love,
Kristin
On a good note I finally found how to add an event to my fan pages on facebook. You should come see some improv this weekend.
That is all.
All the love,
Kristin
Monday, April 2, 2012
Oh dear dear dear
I owe you all a multitude of blogs and an apology. I haven't been sticking to this process at all for the last few weeks. I have fallen off the wagon.
In short, I've been tremendously overwhelmed. I hurt my knee again. My allergies turned into a sinus infection. Rehearsals for our latest show were not going well. I never felt like I had enough time at work to get things done. I was missing workouts because of my knee and being sick and not getting enough sleep. My diet has gone to hell. Looking around my new apartment I realized I've fallen back into a lot of my old habits. And in a lot of areas in my life I just shut down.
Some of it is comforting. It's good to feel not like the fish out of water all the time. The comfort in knowing that the food I ordered across the street is going to be cooked all the way and not seasoned badly like the food I made earlier in the week.
Most of it though is depressing. It's "shame spiral." I feel bad that I didn't work out, so that makes me sad so I eat something bad that makes me feel better for a little while, until I realize that I ate that thing out of emotion, and then try to correct it by eating something that really doesn't taste that good to me and then getting stressed out by all of it and then eating half a piece of cake from Flying Star. (The one change is that I didn't eat a whole piece of cake like I used to.)
I realize that I'm off track, but I days that I'm feeling really stressed, like when we are in tech week, I just want to say to hell with it all. F it. I need to figure out how to manage my time and my stress better. I just look at everything that needs to get done in my life and the amount of time I have to get it done in and I freak out and in some cases, like recently, I just shut down and don't do anything. I sink into rounds of "Words with Friends" and watching episode after episode of "Queer Eye for the Straight Guy" on my instant view netflix. I realize that I'm escaping. Running away from the actual problems in my life to either solve a simple one like putting a word down a a virtual board or watching 5 gay guys solve some problems in a straight guys life. It's at this moment that I realize that I need them to ring my doorbell, tear apart my apartment and buy me a whole new wardrobe...
Only, I've gotten the offer to rearrange my whole life and I've just thrown it away these last few weeks. Letting my sickness and stress and injured knee be the excuse for why I can't take better care of myself.
I know that I'm a good person. That I'm caring and I give a lot to my community and the people around me. But taking the time to go to the grocery store to buy food so I can have lunch dinner and breakfast for the week feels like just one more thing I have to deal with. One more thing on my already crazy schedule. One more time that I feel like I should be doing something for the theatre or for my friends or for my family instead of buying food.
It really has felt like my life has been falling apart these last few weeks. Then it's moments like opening our show, Alice in Wonderland Jr. to 3 crowds of over 150 people at the South Broadway Cultural Center and seeing these kids feel comfortable in front of all those people. Of knowing that I've got to do a curtain speech and be confident in selling my 501(c)3 non profit to a number of people that I don't know. Of watching a girl about 11 years old calm down a 6 year old girl who has lost her shoes right before a dress rehearsal. Those moments are magic and are the reminders of why I started this journey in the first place.
I don't know if I've done too much damage in the last few weeks. I hope that I have disappointed my trainers, my friends or my readers. I'm still trying to retrain my life. It's so much harder than it looks on tv makeover shows. It's hard to keep up when left to your own devices.
The one thing that has been great about not working out so my knee will get better is that I actually miss the gym. I miss my classes and I miss Wilton, CJ, Rachel, Katie, and Jennifer. I miss their dedication and sincerity that they give every day to the people in their classes and the pushes that they are giving me.
I do plan on making it to Shock in the morning, however I don't know how much of the class I can make it through. My knee is feeling better, but I was on it a LOT this weekend running the curtains backstage for Alice in Wonderland. I still didn't make it to the grocery store to buy food for this week, but I think I'll be able to go shopping either tonight or tomorrow. I'm trying my best to make a plan and stick to it.
I'm doing my best to try to live by 3 affirmations right now.
1. I feel radiant and full of energy.
2. My mind embraces financial prosperity.
3. I am fit, healthy and attractive.
Intention is important and I'm shifting my priorities back to the right places and turning my life back on again.
All my love,
Kristin
In short, I've been tremendously overwhelmed. I hurt my knee again. My allergies turned into a sinus infection. Rehearsals for our latest show were not going well. I never felt like I had enough time at work to get things done. I was missing workouts because of my knee and being sick and not getting enough sleep. My diet has gone to hell. Looking around my new apartment I realized I've fallen back into a lot of my old habits. And in a lot of areas in my life I just shut down.
Some of it is comforting. It's good to feel not like the fish out of water all the time. The comfort in knowing that the food I ordered across the street is going to be cooked all the way and not seasoned badly like the food I made earlier in the week.
Most of it though is depressing. It's "shame spiral." I feel bad that I didn't work out, so that makes me sad so I eat something bad that makes me feel better for a little while, until I realize that I ate that thing out of emotion, and then try to correct it by eating something that really doesn't taste that good to me and then getting stressed out by all of it and then eating half a piece of cake from Flying Star. (The one change is that I didn't eat a whole piece of cake like I used to.)
I realize that I'm off track, but I days that I'm feeling really stressed, like when we are in tech week, I just want to say to hell with it all. F it. I need to figure out how to manage my time and my stress better. I just look at everything that needs to get done in my life and the amount of time I have to get it done in and I freak out and in some cases, like recently, I just shut down and don't do anything. I sink into rounds of "Words with Friends" and watching episode after episode of "Queer Eye for the Straight Guy" on my instant view netflix. I realize that I'm escaping. Running away from the actual problems in my life to either solve a simple one like putting a word down a a virtual board or watching 5 gay guys solve some problems in a straight guys life. It's at this moment that I realize that I need them to ring my doorbell, tear apart my apartment and buy me a whole new wardrobe...
Only, I've gotten the offer to rearrange my whole life and I've just thrown it away these last few weeks. Letting my sickness and stress and injured knee be the excuse for why I can't take better care of myself.
I know that I'm a good person. That I'm caring and I give a lot to my community and the people around me. But taking the time to go to the grocery store to buy food so I can have lunch dinner and breakfast for the week feels like just one more thing I have to deal with. One more thing on my already crazy schedule. One more time that I feel like I should be doing something for the theatre or for my friends or for my family instead of buying food.
It really has felt like my life has been falling apart these last few weeks. Then it's moments like opening our show, Alice in Wonderland Jr. to 3 crowds of over 150 people at the South Broadway Cultural Center and seeing these kids feel comfortable in front of all those people. Of knowing that I've got to do a curtain speech and be confident in selling my 501(c)3 non profit to a number of people that I don't know. Of watching a girl about 11 years old calm down a 6 year old girl who has lost her shoes right before a dress rehearsal. Those moments are magic and are the reminders of why I started this journey in the first place.
I don't know if I've done too much damage in the last few weeks. I hope that I have disappointed my trainers, my friends or my readers. I'm still trying to retrain my life. It's so much harder than it looks on tv makeover shows. It's hard to keep up when left to your own devices.
The one thing that has been great about not working out so my knee will get better is that I actually miss the gym. I miss my classes and I miss Wilton, CJ, Rachel, Katie, and Jennifer. I miss their dedication and sincerity that they give every day to the people in their classes and the pushes that they are giving me.
I do plan on making it to Shock in the morning, however I don't know how much of the class I can make it through. My knee is feeling better, but I was on it a LOT this weekend running the curtains backstage for Alice in Wonderland. I still didn't make it to the grocery store to buy food for this week, but I think I'll be able to go shopping either tonight or tomorrow. I'm trying my best to make a plan and stick to it.
I'm doing my best to try to live by 3 affirmations right now.
1. I feel radiant and full of energy.
2. My mind embraces financial prosperity.
3. I am fit, healthy and attractive.
Intention is important and I'm shifting my priorities back to the right places and turning my life back on again.
All my love,
Kristin
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