Well, here we are. Less than 30 days to 30 years old. Still struggling, still stuck, but I feel like there has been a little progress.
So much is happening right now, it's hard to keep track of it all. We opened and closed A Year with Frog and Toad Kids, started rehearsals with a new director/writer for Confessions of a Teenage Spidergirl, preparing for friends Claire and Aileen to come down to do their show How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Lost My Virginity, getting ready for the 5th Annual Duke City Improv Festival, getting back into the swing of going to the gym, buying a new car cause the other one died, working on our 501(c)3 paperwork, helping other people produce their shows, and selling a WHOLE LOTTA TICKETS. You should see my piles of laundry. They need to get washed ASAP.
It's a lot of work for something that at times doesn't feel like it's progressing, getting better, getting closer to becoming a REAL JOB that PAYS MY BILLS. I really love what I do, but I sometimes ask myself, what am I sacrificing for what I love? Are my priorities in the right place?
I know right now my priorities should be about getting healthy, working out, eating right, because what good is having a super successful performance space and youth theatre company if I'm too big to enjoy it all. But checking email, getting to my small job on time, trying to get enough sleep, and putting toilet paper in the bathrooms always seems to get in the way. It's always the little things, right? Don't sweat the small stuff, right?
I know we need to put systems in to place for the theatre. Then we could easily tell someone, this is how to prepare and sell the tickets for the show. We are painting these flats blue, the paint brushes are always over there next to the pens, pencils, tape, scissors and all the other things that always go missing in our space. We need a professional organizer and an accountant.
I've spent most of my life working for other people, and I understand that I am the boss, but sometimes it is so hard to "man up." I rely a lot on Doug to do things, and even a lot of times to tell me what to do, when I know perfectly well what needs to be done. I just need to make some big choices, take charge, and delegate.
Seeing the beautiful and amazing Libby a while back always reminds me that I promised her that we would do a play together. A beautiful play called Stop Kiss by Diana Son. It's a vanity piece for me, casting myself in a role I'd love to play but know I typically wouldn't be cast in. I re-read the script after seeing her and it excited me to move forward to get into shape so I'll feel comfortable changing clothes in front of a theatre full of people. I made her a promise that we'd do the show in a year, and if I'm not ready, I'll give the project up. So, now to hold true to the promise I made to her, to myself and to all of you dear readers. I need to reinvent my toolbox, ask for the help I'm looking for and go onward.
All my love to you guys, and Onward ho!
KB
