The movie takes place in 1965, and I know a lot has changed since then. The world is not as safe as it used to be. Gosh, even myself growing up in the 80's would yell that I was going to the park, hop on my bike with a couple of my friends and go out riding until the streetlights turned on. Every summer day was an adventure. Are there parents who let there kids go wander the streets until dusk anymore? I don't know for sure.
We just closed Mulan Jr. (to many awesome full crowds at the South Broadway Cultural Center) another story about a girl who decides to no only defend her father, but to go on an adventure of her own. She's not sure what will happen in the end, but she knows that this is the decision she must make.
Am I suggesting that kids run away from home or join the army dressed in drag? Nah. I just wonder, do we sometimes protect them too much and perhaps steal those chances for deep personal growth that one can really only have on adventure?
I'm on an intense adventure right now. So intense that I've had to spend some time away from this blog to really think about how the last couple of weeks have impacted how I feel about things. I still don't have many answers, but enough cognitive thoughts to string some of them together. When this all started, this "fitness" journey I didn't know what was going to lie ahead, but I knew this was the decision I must make. I knew there would be scary physical things that I would have to do (like burpees!) but I wasn't prepared at that point for the litany of emotions I was going to be facing. The first few weeks there were just lots of tears as my body was releasing a lot of pent up emotions. And then... just two weeks ago... Wilton presented a mind over matter challenge called "The Hill."
The Hill isn't really a hill. It's a cement ditchbank that's right around the corner of eVOLV. If you've seen a ditchbank in ABQ, you know that they are pretty steep and if you've known me for the past 10 years, you know that I'm afraid of heights. I don't know if it's so much being afraid of heights, but more of a fear of falling and getting hurt. At any rate, Wilton told me he wanted me to go down the hill and then climb back up it. He knew that this was more of a mental challenge for me, but that he promised that nothing was going to happen to me. The first time we went down he stood in front and held my hands so I could use him for support. It took some coaxing, but I made it down and up in one piece. The second time he said he was there if I needed his help, but he wasn't going to hold on. My nerves were starting to get to me here. But knowing he was there for support was what kept me going. Right before the third trip Wilton tells me that this time he'll be in front of me, but he doesn't want me to touch him for support at all. And my mind goes into overdrive of all the things that are going to go wrong. We spend the next 15-20 minutes of me crying and him telling me I can do it and me telling him no freaking way and then him telling me he's going to have to call and cancel his next client if I don't do this soon. My feet felt like they were super glued to the top of that ditch. Just as I would go to step off and try my heart would pound and the tears would come up again.
And suddenly a weird calmness came over me... I'm not sure what it was.
In college I played a character named Popeye Jackson in a show called "The Miss Firecracker Contest." In the show I had to climb up an 8 foot "telephone" pole and then climb across a tent that was essentially built like a big hammock.
It's one of the scariest things I had ever done, but somehow, with the help of Popeye, I was able to get over that fear and climb that pole every night for about 2 weeks. Even after a rehearsal where the back batten dropped about 6 inches I was still able to climb that pole ever night.
I think I was able to summon her again that day on the hill. Popeye wasn't scared about climbing a circus tent. She wasn't really scared about what people thought of her either. In some schools of theatre we talk about how each of us have aspects of the characters we play within ourselves. Popeye was also shy and a little socially awkward. That's where I knew she and I had characteristics in common.
But I'm starting to understand more and more though that if she had that strength to not have fear to climb a pole and to be herself and I was able to convey those aspects of her, then I carry those characteristics myself.
So "Popeye" took over that day on the Hill and I was able to climb down (with the help of Wilton commanding each of my feet forward) and I made it to the bottom in one piece. Wilton says we'll be doing t again, and that makes me feel very anxious, but the other night I had a dream where I ran down a ditch bank and it just happened so fast that I know I'll be able to get there.
It's adventures like these where we are able to show our true character, to find out who we are and what we want out of our lives. I was always a very cautious child... and I wonder had I been more adventurous as a kid, would I be facing these same trials now? We'll never know for sure. I am thankful though to have such amazing support on this adventure though. Even though I was having a huge mental breakdown on the side of a ditch on a Friday morning in early June, I still had someone who was willing to catch me and I knew a group of people, who even though they didn't know that that was what I was doing at that exact moment, were rooting me on to go down that hill.
In conclusion, go on an adventure this summer either with someone you love or by yourself. It will always be worth it, no matter what the outcome.
All the love,
Kristin
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